Death Metal Craig's ever growing musical catalog.
Since myspace and purevolume only allow a small number of songs, I've decided to just post links to all of my songs here.Check back often, many more songs to come.
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The Kid They Call Double Panties    Alternate Link
Need I say more?

I Got An Emo Haircut     Alternate Link
My statement on the emo scene. Don't get me wrong, I like a few emo bands. In the 80's, everybody made fun of mods. The 90's had grunge kids, but they moped way too much for anybody to care about making fun of them. Now we have been graced upon the mass emergence of emo kids to make fun of. Having a backwards mullet doesn't really help. (credit the Vandals for the term backwards mullet)

Maynard     Alternate Link
This song is about the lead singer of Tool, Maynard James Keenan.

Snakes On A Plane     Alternate Link
This song is about what could possibly be the greatest movie ever, Snakes On A Plane starring Samual L. Jackson. Here's a synopsis of the film (credit:blackfilm.com): " On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes."

This Relationship Is Lamer Than Walker Texas Ranger    
I love me some Walker Texas Ranger, but it's easily the worst acted show ever. And for that it deserves a song.

Not Even MacGyver Could Fix This Relationship     Alternate Link
Part tragic love story, part Richard Dean Anderson tribute.

Marty McFly Couldn't Go Back In Time To Fix Our Relationship     Alternate Link
But Crispin Glover probably could.

Let's Go To Canada For The Summer     Alternate Link
My friend Nick is a Math major in college, but has a minor in French. So for the summer, he went study French in Canada...and be emo. So I wrote this song about it.

Mike Jones Stole My Candy Bar     Alternate Link
This song is about the rapper Mike Jones who really likes to say his name alot in his songs. Maybe he's like the guy in the movie Memento and has to say his name all the time so he doesn't forget it. Well anyway, this song is about Mike Jones saying his name over and over and stealing my candy bar.

I'm Getting Fat To Get Over You     Alternate Link
A song about revenge and chicken wings.

The Bayside Chronicles I: Blood On The Hands Of Belding     Alternate Link
Here is possibly the dumbest song ever. It started out as a very simple premise: Coheed & Cambria meets Saved By The Bell. Before I continue, I just want to say that I do like Coheed & Cambria, but...high vocal range=easy target for joke. The story is Mr. Belding has apparently lost his mind and is killing everyone and burning down everything at Bayside. And the only one left to stop him is Screech. There may be a second part to this eventually...but that really might not be for the better...

If You Choose Life Tonight     Alternate Link
This song is about the wrestler Necro Butcher. He has a pot leaf tattoo on his arm, takes incredible amounts of punishment, has a bad case of male pattern baldness, and often wears a t-shirt that says "Choose Death".

If You Choose Life Tonight...The Video!     Alternate Link


Coming Soon: Who knows...

If you want to talk about scientology, send me hate mail, or want an mp3 if the servers are down.. Just send me an E-mail